The Birth of Theodore Atticus…It’s a Boy!

I am SOOOOOO excited to share this birth story with you all. I have been following Sally and her little family since way back when I still used blogger and had a different blog name. This birth of her third boy is beautiful, but it involves a pretty scary postpartum hemorrhage (PPH). I irony in reading her story this weekend was that last week I had a patient have a PPH. It does not happen very often but when it does, it sticks with you. I find myself reflecting on every moment, each little step we made to help the patient feel calm, safe, and stop the bleeding. As Sally mentions in her post below, the care a patient receives at any time is critical but especially so when something scary happens. Feeling like you’re going to die after giving birth is probably one of the scariest thoughts anyone can have. Thank you, Sally, for allowing me to share Theodore’s birth story.

***

Theodore Atticus (Teddy) arrived on Wednesday morning at 11:13AM after almost twenty-four hours of labor. I want to go ahead and give the heads up that, much like my other two births, this labor and delivery did not go exactly as planned. If you’re looking for a natural birth story where every thing goes to a T, you should probably skip this one. However, unlike the others, I had such a better experience when it came to feeling supported and listened to during my experience. My hospital staff was absolutely incredible. My nurses were amazing. The OB who delivered Teddy was perfection. Here’s our story:

teddy3

Monday was Memorial Day. At our CrossFit box, the gym was running a hero work out known as “Murph.” Taylor and I got there with the boys around 10:30AM to cheer on the athletes and get a little work out in ourselves. I headed to the squat rack and started doing a slow triplet of three squats, three pull ups, two sled pushes. I added a little weight every round, and I had just done my second squat at 115lbs when I felt a thump. I stood back up, and water gushed down my legs like someone had turned on a bath tub faucet. I racked the weight, turned to look at Taylor, and said, “Um, Tay, my water broke…we need to go.” He started laughing, and we gathered up the boys while I waddled to the car with a towel between my legs.

We were supposed to show our house that morning, but obviously, that wasn’t going to happen. I hopped in the shower while Taylor fed the boys. We made calls to the people who were coming to help watch Sully and Arlo while we were at the hospital and before our families arrived. I went back and forth between the birth ball and sitting on the toilet trying to get some contractions going. They were there, but very mild and not at all consistent. At about 2:30PM, we decided to head on to the hospital. I was GBS+ again, and honestly, being at home was far from relaxing between the kids and the dog. Our good friends arrived to watch the boys, and we made our way.

When we checked in, I was still not having any contractions and was at about 2cm. I walked and walked some more, bounced on the ball some more, and four hours later, still nothing. At this point, I agreed to being put on the lowest level of pitocin in order to hopefully get contractions going. The nurses and OB were all absolutely fine with me walking around, taking a shower, doing whatever I could to try to get things moving. Eventually, the contractions picked up. They became incredibly uncomfortable, but they still were not regular. After about six hours on pitocin, they took me off and checked me again. I was at 3cm. We decided to let me try to labor on my own for awhile off the pitocin to see if I could try to progress some more. For several more hours, I labored in the shower, on the ball, in the bed, whatever I could try to do. The contractions were steady, and I would say they were very painful. It was intense pressure with each wave and very little rest in between. I asked to be checked again, convinced I had to be close. I was only 3.5cm. After being in labor this long, looking at the middle of the night, and recognizing that I just wasn’t progressing like I wanted, I asked for the epidural. I needed rest, and my mom and Taylor were exhausted, too. I hoped an epidural would bring some relief and let me sleep. I honestly could have kissed the anesthesiologist. I told him my epidurals before had never really worked, and I always ended up with “hot spots.” He had to place it twice, but he finally got it working, and I could rest.

I expected to be disappointed by this choice. After all, I really wanted to go naturally. But after having been in labor for so long with no change, I felt like I was only torturing myself. Labor should an experience where you feel in control and on top of all the decisions made. I truly feel like I was in control this time. Every decision made was passed by me and approved by me, and the nurses and OB were so amazing at ensuring my experience was the best possible one for me. I laid down and rested and by 10:30AM, I had a little lip of cervix between me and baby. The anesthesiologist had to do another dose of medicine when I started getting hot spots, but it fixed the problem. My epidural was light enough that I could feel all the contractions and pressure, and I could move my legs, but I was no longer fighting against the contractions. When it came time to push, three pushes, and Teddy joined us, screaming and pink.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Now, here’s the hard part. My labor and delivery went so well. I had one tiny tear that required a few stitches, and I was able to get up and walk around almost immediately after Teddy was born. He latched like a champ and took to nursing right away. About six hours after delivery, while we were settled into our recovery room and after my shower, I got up to use the bathroom. As I walked into the bathroom, I felt a ton of pressure and cramping. Suddenly, blood gushed everywhere. Huge clots covered the floor, and the walls looked like a horror film. I yelled to Taylor to get the nurse, and more blood gushed again. I stood there completely shocked, and the nurses rushed in. They put me in the bed, where the gushes kept happening. Soon, my room was filled with nurses and my OB. They gave me percocet, a shot of some of sort, and cytotec to try to stop the bleeding. The OB then explained to me she would have to do a manual extraction, where she would have to reach up into my uterus to pull out the massive clots that were preventing my uterus from contracting back to normal size and containing the bleeding like it should have.

I have never had anything done that felt so horrific. I was screaming and crying and begging for them to stop, but they were pulling out baseball sized clots of blood, and I knew it had to be done. I think this was the point where I honestly thought I might die. I’ve never seen so much blood in my life, and I have certainly never seen so much blood come out of someone and them still live. The OB explained that if they couldn’t stop the bleeding, I would have to go under anesthesia for an emergency D&C and then possibly a hysterectomy if it continued. Once the manual extraction was over, they began a blood transfusion. I received four pints of blood because it was estimated I had lost about two liters (the human body generally has 4.7-5 liters of blood). They pumped me full of fluids. This part is pretty hazy, but I remember being cold and not being able to stop shaking. They kept asking me how I felt and random questions to keep me alert. Poor Taylor and Teddy had to be there the whole time.

Once they had me stabilized, they inserted a postpartum balloon. It was basically a massive balloon that they filled with water to put pressure on my uterus and hopefully help the blood vessels seal. They kept it in overnight, and in the morning, they removed it. I had no more clotting, so I was asked to stay in bed twelve more hours before I started moving around. They kept me another couple of days, but I was finally in the clear.

They speculate that my long labor exhausted my uterus, and when it was time to contract back to normal size, it was contracting but not shrinking. Blood vessels never sealed, and it started a vicious cycle of clotting, releasing the clots, and clotting again. There is no real way of knowing WHY this happened.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

I can tell you a few things about this experience:

1) Teddy was our last baby. I can’t risk something like this happening again. Thinking I was about to die was the most terrifying thing in this entire world, and while he is so, so, worth it, I want to be here for Taylor and my babies.

2) I appreciate my little family so much more.

3) I am so incredibly grateful for my medical team. Had I given birth at home or had I been released earlier than 24 hours, I would have bled to death. An ambulance would not have made it in time for me to survive. Which means, if I had birthed anywhere but the hospital, I wouldn’t be here today. That does not mean that I am against home or birth center births, but this experience made me realize how grateful I am that I personally did not chose that path.

4) Having a good hospital staff and OB makes an absolute world of difference. My labor and delivery could not have been more precious to me. My OB that had privatized me the entire pregnancy was actually out of town. I ended up with another female OB, Dr. Jones, who is my new best friend. She was so incredible, and I am so grateful I had her. My nurses handled our labor and following emergency so well. No one panicked or made me feel like they were not in control. Even at the worst moment, Taylor says he did not really think he would lose me because everyone was so competent.

teddy4

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

We are home and settled now. I feel pretty rough, but I guess that is to be expected. Teddy is nursing so well, and the big boys are loving him. Teddy has a little jaundice, but we are staying on top of it, and his numbers are lower today, so we feel better about that. I am so grateful things turned out the way they did, and now we are just hunkering down to enjoy this newborn phase.

Advertisements

Evelyn’s Birth Story

In honor of Evelyn’s 2nd birthday, I am re-posting the story of her birth. I always get so nostalgic around my baby’s births. I relive every minute leading up to their arrival and am filled with so much joy recalling their special day. Evelyn’s birth was incredible. I hope you enjoy reading it as much I enjoy sharing it.

****

  
The first baby I ever caught….

…was my own. This is the birth story of Evelyn Taylor who made her way Earth side on Monday, May 20th at 5:39pm weighing 6 pounds & 14 ounces and stretching out to 18 and 3/4 inches. Her story begins on Sunday, May 19th…

On Sunday morning I woke up feeling tired, which was nothing new, but I could barely keep my eyes open. B headed to work and it was just me and Logan for the day. However, I knew I had to get some help with Logan so I called my parents and they gladly took him for several hours so I could sleep some more. As I was getting Logan ready I noticed contractions coming and going. This was nothing new as I had been in prodormal labor for weeks at this point. Of course I secretly hoped “today is the day” but all the false labor did not have me convinced.

I came home, ate some lunch and slept for a few hours through some mild contractions. Around 1:30 I woke up, feeling a lot more cramps in my low back. Again, I had been feeling these pains on and off for several days, but noticed they started off very close together, 2-3 minutes apart and rather uncomfortable. I updated my parents and B and tried to see if I could get labor going. I was still not sure if this was the real deal, but I figured walking and bouncing on the ball would help if it was.

  
After a few hours, I called B to come home a little early. I was beginning to think this was going to be the night and we had to get some things together. My parents had to drop Logan back off with us for a few hours before we left. I wanted to try and labor at home as long as possible. As of the previous Friday, I was 2cm dilated and 50% effaced with a very posterior cervix. So I labored away, contractions coming a little stronger and still every 2-3 minutes apart. Logan and I walked around our cul de sac as it was a beautiful night. The dogs ran around the circle with us and I knew this would be the last thing I would be doing with Logan before he became a big brother. Somehow, I held my emotions together most of the evening until it was time for us to leave for the hospital.

  
I was bouncing on the ball watching Bruno Mars open up the Billboard Music Awards. I had already called the triage nurse and was instructed it was time to come in. I called the hospital and everyone was ready for us. So I took Logan into my arms and told him his sister was going to be coming today, that he was going to be a big brother. I told him we were going back to Lolly and Pop Pop’s so he could have a sleep over with Pop Pop and then tomorrow, Grandma Mac would come and play with him after school. He seemed to understand everything, repeating what I told him. My eyes filled and I gave him a huge hug and kiss. Logan hates seeing me cry so I choked back the tears and off we went.

  
We dropped Logan off with my dad and picked my mom up. She and B were going to be my birth partners, taking turns helping me through this birthing process. We had a 30 minute drive to the hospital. Contractions stayed regular. Everything everyone else says about labor in a car is true–it sucks!! I could not wait to get to the hospital!

We arrived at the hospital just after 8pm. I was still 2cm and 50% so I got into the tub to see if that would help relax me. It worked! After 2 hours I was nearly 4cm and was admitted. The first attempt to get a hep lock in blew my vein but the 2nd one was done beautifully. The best part was that I did not need to be hooked up to anything. I was drinking plenty of water on my own and it was “just in case” and hospital policy.

I love the midwife, Lani, who was there when I walked in but she was off at 7am Monday morning. At this point, I’m very vague as to the timing of certain checks, but I would guess that between 10pm and 2am we walked the halls, I got back into the tub, and prayed for progress. Labor pains were still manageable but strong enough for me to stop and breathe. I was no longer able to talk through them. Around 5am I was checked again and made a little more progress, nearly 5cm with a bulging bag of waters. Up until this point, though I had been admitted, I had been laboring for over 12 hours and was making very slow progress. Both the nurses and my midwife talked about letting us go home to labor on our own, but I knew that was a bad idea. I knew my anxiety would shoot through the roof. I’d have no idea when it would be time for us to come back and that was another hour round trip in the car going through much harder labor than hours before. So when we found I was 5cm with a bulging bag, we all agreed that breaking my water was the best choice. At this point, I had been awake for over 24 hours and was really starting to feel exhausted.

After my water broke, we kept walking the halls. SIX hours later and I had made NO progress. I was so upset. At this point, I wasn’t going home because my water was broken so we decided that if by 1pm I was still 6cm we would start some pitocin. I labored on some more, contractions getting much stronger. We all really thought this meant I was progressing and baby was coming down more.

  
Around 1:30pm, Cassie, my midwife, came and checked me again. NOTHING. Maybe some more effacement around 75%, so it was time for some pitocin. My body was in labor, but taking it’s sweet time. Problem was I was so terribly tired I could barely keep my eyes open and I needed a break. Pitocin does not offer breaks! As they hooked me up to the pitocin, my nurse started things off nice and slow and I was given some fentenyl to take the edge off and help me rest. I laid in bed for about an hour. Contractions kind of went all over the place for a bit, but once the pitocin was flowing the contractions became really strong and very regular, about 2 minutes apart. Around 4:30pm I started begging for an epidural. My mom kept asking me if I was sure and I kept yelling yes! A true sign of transition. 😉

Some fluids were hooked up and I was given another dose of fentenyl as there was someone in front of me for the epidural. I was starting to lose it. Everything was an absolute blur. I could not move in bed. I just sat up and grabbed both sides of the bed, shaking my legs back and forth during contractions that were now nearly on top of each other. I was breathing hard and fast which made me feel light headed between contractions but I almost think that was a good thing. It was almost euphoric for a few seconds. This is where I realize now that the pains were not going to get any worse. With Logan’s birth, I was saying “no, no, no!” over and over again. It was only moments before Evie was born that I started to say things like “no!” and “where is my effing epidural?!”

My nurse Marilyn was amazing. She was so calm and supportive the entire time I labored. At one point she suggested she better check me because 2nd babies come faster. I was 8cm and fully effaced. She set everything up. Cassie came in to check on me and said she’d be in the OR training but as soon as I needed her she would be there. Moments later the anesthesiologist walked in. I said, “Thank you Jesus!!” I wonder how many women say that to him. 😉 He started to work very quickly. There were no breaks for me anymore and I was certain I was dying. Obviously, I wasn’t…it was just only a few moments before baby would come. He had me sit up and lean over a table. The change in position must have been all baby needed to really come down because I was suddenly pushing and could feel her head right there! The anesthesiologist had placed the cath and administered a small dose, but there was no relief and before I knew it I was screaming that I couldn’t stop pushing. I leaned over, almost on top of all the needles and things needed for the epidural.

Nurses filled the room and Cassie was still not there. Another doctor showed up, ready to deliver the baby and I yelled for someone to go get Cassie (which I know someone already had). She was really the only one I wanted to catch my baby. Then, she was there. She sat on the side of the bed. She made me look at her and she coached me through 3 of the most intense pushes and pain I have ever experienced in my entire life. I even remember yelling “I feel everything!!” and she said that was how it was going to be. As baby crowned she had me breathe her head out. I felt the ring of fire and remember telling myself it was for just a few seconds. Baby’s head would be out and the fire would go away. One more push and baby slid right into my hands. Cassie helped her head out and I reached down and caught my baby! I pulled her up onto my chest. She had a short cord so she laid mostly on my stomach. I spread the legs apart, B standing just to my right and together we saw she was a girl! We exclaimed with joy that baby was a girl and we all started to cry and laugh! I knew she was a girl and Logan especially knew he was going to have a sister.

  
Evie was covered in vernix. She had it in her ears and all over her little body. She was slow to pink up so she had some O2 placed over her face. She was so calm, barely cried. We waited for the cord to stop pulsing before B cut it. Evie pinked up quickly and the O2 was removed. She stayed on my chest for an entire hour while I delivered the placenta. I recall thinking, “oh yeah that thing has to come out too…” and it did easily. Cassie fixed a small tear with a few stitches and soon enough I was cleaned up and just enjoying my baby girl. Logan and B’s mom came by. Logan was a little overwhelmed by all the lights and instruments around the room, but he did take a few moments to say hi to me and his new sister. He gave me a “Mama” necklace and Evie a pink monkey. Their visit was short but just what I needed to get through the rest of the night without my first born.

  
It was a few hours before we were moved over to women’s care. I was able to get up and go to the bathroom on my own, something which I had not been able to do for several hours after Logan was born due to the epidural.

Putting this birth into words is hard. Yes, I wrote out as much as I could but to capture how truly incredible it was feels impossible. I’m still in awe that I gave birth naturally, without an epidural and so quickly. We figure my labor was just under 20 hours and less than 5 minutes of pushing. As far as a 2nd birth goes, the only part that seemed typical was how quickly she was born and I am so grateful that when she was ready, she came.

Shridam’s Birth Story

A note from Sarah:

I am so thankful for this community I have been welcomed into with open arms. The subject of birth is so close to every mother’s heart, no matter how her baby comes into the world. I have said a number of times that I want to share EVERY birth story that you’re willing to share. Some of those birth stories, don’t always have a happy ending. Regardless, your birth and your baby are important and your story is important. I am sharing a story below that is beautiful, loving, and heartbreaking. This is your official **Trigger Warning**. Please read with love and light for this mama. Thank you.

Sarah

******

Shridam Jasper Smith

10 lbs 15.4oz 23.5 inches

9.23.12 – 9.30.12

We wanted to have a homebirth with our first son but couldn’t afford it. He was a week late and we declined to go in for an induction that Friday but then nonstress testing said the amniotic fluid was low so we made an appointment to go in at 5am the next day to be induced. I went into labor Friday night and things were picking up steam when we got the hospital (My mom, husband, doula and myself). We labored pretty naturally for most of the day and didn’t get any pitocin until the evening. The back labor was pretty intense. Then after a totally refreshing nap compliments of Stadol, the nurses woke me up and I hopped into the stirrups to push for about 2.5 hours. I saw baby’s head in the mirror!  Dr.Koh came in and saw that the baby was OP so he got us all to prepare for a C-section. Dasaratha was 9 lbs 6 ounces, 21 inches and super awesome. Champion nurser.

Shri Kiss

  • Shridam was due September 16th. We didn’t want to have another C-section this go round and now we were in a position to afford midwives. We interviewed a few groups and went with the same midwives a couple people we knew had delivered with. We saw them for the regular checkup stuff, heart tones, measurements, weight ins etc and my seemingly endless list of questions about homebirth, pregnancy, transfer and nearly everything else under the sun.
  • For backup we saw some hospital midwives that work with M and R and take care of some of their transfers. I went to their clinic for all of the blood tests and ultrasounds. I had endless questions for them too. I was told by them and our homebirth midwives that we would transfer to that hospital in case of something like exhaustion or dehydration but that for an emergency emergency we would go to Heywood, the hospital 20 minutes from my house.
  • The pregnancy covered the best summer of my life, my husband, our toddler and everyone we knew was just so happy and excited that we would be getting a little baby boy. Stava and Dasaratha were able to accompany me to most of the prenatals this time which was really special. I was crazy healthy and felt great.
  • We went into labor Friday night but it stopped as soon as M got there. She left and told me to try to get as much rest as possible before things picked up again. I had light contractions until Saturday evening when things got hot and heavy and the two midwives came over again. We had my grandmother take Dasaratha to his Uncle and Aunties while we set to laboring. I see the hand of the Lord in that because we had considered having him babysat at our home but couldn’t think of anyone to watch him.

I labored leaning on Stava and moaning with him for awhile, at a certain point I was saying, “These contractions are stronger than me, I’m not handling them well,” and I decided to get into the tub. What GREAT relief! In my first labor I kept wanting to take a shower but we couldn’t get the monitor wet so I opted for Stadol instead. Anyways no back labor this time, baby was in perfect position very low, NOT ociput posterior (I was super afraid he would follow suit like his brother and religiously did my positioning exercises while pregnant). They checked his heart rate regularly the whole time and he was happy as a clam. We put on the birth CD my friend had burnt for us. The water made contractions so much more manageable, Stava was in there with me sometimes I would lean on him sometimes I grip the sides of the tub and stretch out.

Eventually I felt the urge to push and started to do that. I was a little insecure thinking I didn’t want to push if I had a lip of cervix so I hopped out of the tub and had my midwives gives me an internal exam (the First and only) I was 10 cm so I hopped back in the tub and began to push for all I was worth. Pushing was about 2hrs but isn’t seem very long at all, not like Dasa’s. No one was yelling at me; I pushed not on every contraction but when I got a “good pushing one” I would say, “This is it!” and grip the side of the tub stand up on my knees and holler and push. I reached down and felt baby’s soft head, it was awesome then I had Stava feel too. The midwives were checking his heart rate with the Doppler pretty frequently now (I appreciate that now but at the time it was sooo uncomfortable!) and it was right where it was supposed to be. I vaguely remembered being blood pressure cuffed throughout the birth but I didn’t pay that much mind. Sometime during the pushing I felt the water bag POP and the midwives rushed over to the birth tub with maglights to check the amnioty; it was clear.

At some point I felt like my pushing was becoming a little less effective and the midwives suggested I hop onto the birth stool. That REALLY directed the pushing energy, 2 or 3 pushes on that and I had his entire head out! I was done at that point, I asked if I still had to push because I had read birth storied where the midwives help ease the body out of the exhausted mother and though that sounded good I said, “Do I need to push anymore?” My midwife said yes, “You need to push with everything you have.” Then they said, “You need to get on hands and knees.”

*Sh*t* I had read enough birth stories to know that meant shoulder dyscotia. I got onto hands and knees and pushed hard, thinking they would be able to hook him and pull him out. They told Stava to call 911 and then had me get standing upright to push. Stava started to run downstairs but I hollered at him pointing to where the phone was on the dresser while I was pushing. Then I was lunging, standing, hands and knees, on my back with legs pulled all the way  back and super pubic pressure applied. We tried all these positions rapidly AGAIN and AGAIN. M and R were taking turns trying to hook the baby, and alternating putting the oxygen on his face and then on mine. I kept screaming, “I can’t push anymore,” because I was exhausted or “I’m still pushing!!!” because I WAS still pushing and felt no give from the baby. I screamed a lot and there was blood everywhere, all over me, saturating the floor. The two midwives kept taking turns trying to hook Shridam or break his arm and hook it, and they were putting oxygen alternately on me and then the baby. Stava said, “They had to tear you apart to get to the baby.” I didn’t know it at the time but Stava then left to flag the ambulances at the end of the drive. He feels like he didn’t do anything to help the situation but they may never have found our hidden drive on that dark and rainy night if he hadn’t gone out there. We just kept going in those positions. It was excruciatingly painful, I screamed and screamed and pushed and pushed.

Shri sans tubes

Eventually the ambulance and EMTs arrived. I thought we were going to go to the hospital, I was screaming things like, “Can we got to the hospital now? Get him OUT!!! but the EMTS and midwives told me I had to deliver the baby 1st. I hadn’t expected that. The EMTS were really awesome, they took over the oxygen and focused the midwives saying, “You can do this, you can get this baby out.” FINALLY he came out, with me in the hands and knees position, at 1:42am on Sunday, twenty minutes after his head had been born.

He looked so small, and even though he was all pink and peach, without a tinge of blue on him I could tell he was lifeless. He was so limp and floppy. Shridam’s wasn’t breathing and had no pulse. The EMTS began CPR and intubation immediately. I was sure that he was dead.

My own heart rate was at 200 and the EMTS were instructing me to focus take deep breaths, calm down.  The midwives gave me two shots of pitocin in the thigh and some Chinese herbs to stop bleeding.

We stayed in the room for like 15 minutes and then we each got loaded onto an ambulance. I nearly passed out as they took me down the stairs, because my oxygen mask had fallen off. Stava and all but two of the EMTS (we had first responders from like 5 towns) piled into Shridam’s ambulance and R and two EMTS went into mine. As I rolled past Shridam’s ambulance they told me he had a pulse. I couldn’t believe it, I was so relieved. It came twenty minutes after he was fully born and they started working on him.

From there we went to the ER at Heywood, Stava was sobbing on Shridam’s side of the room and my heart was stricken fearing for the worst. They did all kinds of things for him, that I’ll never know the whole of, they managed to get an IV in his belly button. They gave me three IV ports and pumped me full of blood, pitocin, morphine and two kinds of saline water. My placenta still hadn’t come out so two nurses massaged my stomach almost right down to the bed and Dr.R, come down from the maternity ward, reached in and grabbed it by hand, delivering the whole of it successfully. I had 3rd or 4th degree tears (I would here either from doctors in the next couple days) and Dr.R stitched me up into a, “patchwork quilt.” It hurt so much because apparently, like Novocain, litocaine is totally ineffective on me. R was in with me but they wouldn’t let M in and I was so out of it I didn’t really care.

A few hours later we both transferred to a bigger hospital with a level 3 NICU, and they cooled Shridam’s body for 3 days to try to keep brain damage as low as possible, but his brain was just completely gone, 40 minutes of oxygen deprivation was too much. He was 23.5inches 10 pounds 15.4 ounces when the weighed him. I finally got to hold him when he was 3 days old. He never cried and could only move his arms and face a little. The told us his EEG and MRI showed no brain activity and that he would not live for long. That Friday he managed to knock his arm into his ventilator tube, unpositioning it. We decided not put it back in and he breathed on his own until early Sunday morning when he gently died in my arms, one week old. There are many other stories and miracles that accompany his short week of life, but they are too numerous and hazily remembered to list here.

Shridam

I wrote the above only weeks after the loss of my birth and so have left it unchanged, because it’s as fresh as it is accurate. Some additional thoughts and reflections I have had since then and answers to common questions are below.

My first son was 9lb 4oz.

When originally telling me about how prenatal visits would go my midwives told me about the pee in a cup strips to test for urine. I would later show up and ask “Don’t I need to do that strip test.” And they would reply “If you want to.” Weight tracking was also optional, but I like to keep track of things so I did both each visit.

My midwives offered me a choice of taking the glucose soda and blood test at the hospital or doing a finger prick test with them. They didn’t push either as better, I opted to go with the finger prick test with them.

I did not have Gestational Diabetes during either of my other 3 pregnancies, and had no symptoms of it during Shridam’s pregnancy so I think his Macroscopic size may NOT have been caused by GD, but that’s not something I’ll ever know for sure.

While they attempted to deliver his body they got out their 1 oxygen mask and passed it between me and Shridam. It was done so poorly because there were only TWO people there, they had to try to deliver and do oxygen and it just WASN”T ENOUGH. One of midwifes, M, was crying and in near hysterics, she kept kissing me and saying they loved me, they loved this baby. I appreciate that she was scared for us but I feel like her lost cool affected her ability to do her best on the delivery.

We never paid the 2nd half of what we owed them for their fee. Niether did they ever offer to refund us. Money just wasn’t brought up by either side.

They were there for me for anything I wanted to talk about. They brought me soup. They would likely have done more for me but it just made us ad and weird to see their faces so we declined.

On one follow up appointment they told me they had “talked to some of their peers” and played around with their soft birth doll and model pelvis to see what had happened. R said that his sticky shoulder was just “wackadoo” the worst she’s ever seen. A friend who’s training for homebirth midwifery, later told me that it HAD come up to be looked at by the ‘council of midwives’ or whatever but I never heard of it at the time. Nothing AT ALL like when you lose your baby in a hospital, and there are inquiries, there are reviews, there is an attempt to give the parents ANSWERS and some small piece of mind. No my midwives were back delivering babies the next week.

Unlike so many other homebirth loss moms my midwives weren’t negligent They didn’t lie to me. They did call 911. They just were not enough. Their skill wasn’t enough, their equipment wasn’t enough the sheer fact that there was two of them vs. a whole floor of maternity staff wasn’t enough and it turns out our “transfer plan” was way too little when emergency struck and even the heros at 911 were too little too late when we decided to birth at home.

I see so many people say to other moms, “You should have gotten experienced certified midwives, you needed complimentary care, they should have called 911 sooner, a good midwife will know complications when she sees it, Well your midwife should have been monitoring you and baby.” I HAD ALL THOSE THINGS. The *BEST* OOH Midwives are still NOT ENOUGH to save baby’s life in an emergency.

I am not “anti-home birth”.

This post has been quietly brewing in my mind for awhile now. It’s hard to define where exactly I stand on home birth but what I do know is that I am anti-bullying, anti-discrimination, anti-judgement, anti-disrespect…but I am NOT anti-home birth. Somehow the subject of birth and how one chooses to do so has become almost as delicate a subject as religion and politics. Oh wait…maybe that’s because those two things happen to fuel a lot of how and why someone chooses to birth. There is a terrifying birth story that is making waves and going viral all over the internet right now. You may have read it. Here is a link. The comments on the post itself as well as on a number of birth communities on Facebook have ranged from empathy, sorrow, love, and kindness to blame, distaste, and apathy. This is not a dead baby story. But it could have been.

Many of the more negative comments talk about how the writer is clearly anti-home birth and how “that’s just not fair” to happy home birthers. I get it. I had two beautiful hospital births and when people talk about how bad hospital births are I get a little defensive. Truth is it really doesn’t matter. We are humans with our own emotions and we get to own them whether someone else agrees or not. Maybe the writer is anti-home birth. She is sending a message that “hey, there are crappy home birth midwives out there. Be careful.” Maybe not everyone is hearing that but I am. But NO ONE has a right to say her feelings are not valid or that she should have picked a better midwife, etc….

I cannot emphasize the importance of education any more than I already do. This includes the client but more than anything includes the provider, or any professional one may hire for a service. Our country has a problem with how it manages home birth deliveries and the midwives and people that attend them. States vary on their regulations and standards of education. Many midwives are not bound legally by any form of liability insurance. More than anything, this just makes me sad. So I’m not anti-home birth….I am anti-lack of education, lack of experience…so many mistakes were made in that birth. It’s not the first time and sadly, that won’t be the last time either. An educated, proficient provider would have called 911 the moment she noticed the waters were stained with meconium. This is just one of the many problems with the birth and I am not going to keep breaking it down. Anyone can see from reading the story that there were many mistakes made.

Lastly, I would like to address a comment that keeps getting thrown around by many people who are clearly “anti-hospital birth”….”Babies die in the hospital ALL THE TIME!”. You guys. This is NOT true. In fact, it is RARE for a baby to die in hospital and most of the cases in which one does not make it is due to some kind of fetal anomaly that could not have been prevented (like a cord accident or genetic issue).

Anyway, I had to get these feelings out. I had to express how sad I am that, 16 months later, this mama is experiencing so much birth trauma. I have no doubt that writing about it helps her. I had to share that, though I may have concerns about home birthing, I am not against it.

Behave in the comments. Remember to be respectful.

Eli’s Birth Story

October 2

I woke up feeling crampy. I remember telling Geoff it felt like my period was on its way (which I know is ridiculous, but I was crampy, with lots of backache) I was some what uncomfortable throughout the day, and thought maybe my body was starting to get ready for labor.I asked Geoff to walk with me, so we went to Wal-Mart because it was cool and dark out by the time he got home. We walked around for an hour or two and I was just really uncomfortable. When we got home, I had a cup of  Red Raspberry Leaf tea and took some evening primrose oil (I had been doing both for a few weeks, because they are both supposed to help with labor in different ways) so I drank a cup of tea and we went to bed. I thought I was having contractions, but I was feeling it mostly in my back and hips. I was able to get to sleep with back rub from the hubby.

October 3
I woke up at 2am with a bad gall bladder attack. I went into the bathroom and vomited several times and took a percocet and zofran. I vomited again shortly thereafter, and took another percocet and woke Geoff up. He decided we needed to head to the hospital because in the past, the percocet had not been enough to get the pain to a tolerable level. We got to the hospital around 3am and they checked me into labor and delivery (standard procedure for pregnant women). The nurse tried to check me because I was having contractions on the monitor, even though I wasnt aware of them. I was in a massive amount of pain, so she wasnt able to get a definitive measure of my cervix but thought I was about a fingertip dilated. I ended up declining pain meds at the hospital because the percocet finally kicked in, and I was feeling better. I felt stupid for going in, but in the end our experience has been that at home meds dont usually work, it has had to be IV pain meds because of the intensity of the pain. We left the hosptial at approximately 5 am and went home to sleep. Geoff fell right asleep in bed, and I curled up with him and my cat and tried to sleep. I slept for about 45 minutes or so, and woke up with back labor. I got up and made myself a pillow nest on the couch and put in a movie to try and center myself. I made myself some hot apple cider and toast and laid down on the couch. At around 7am I called my mom and chatted with her for about an hour. It was a really meaningful conversation for me, in the quiet of the morning there were no distractions or background noise on her end, which can be extremely difficult because they have a busy house :o). My mom said then that she thought I was in labor and that he’d be here by Wednesday, but I dismissed it and thought we were just warming up because I wasnt expecting him til after his due date (October 13). My mom and I made arrangements for her to come up on Monday because I wanted the company really badly and sometimes there’s nothing like time with mom. I was planning to have her come up and we could walk, and just hang out because I wasnt feeling great. After we hung up, Geoff woke up and we spent the day hanging out and resting from our looong night before. My contractions starting picking up around dinner time and lasted through the night. Geoff and I spent the whole night going from the bedroom to the living room to the bath tub on my hands and knees and so on. My contractions were irregular, and I was only feeling them in my back. Geoff spent the night providing counter pressure for the increasingly uncomfortable contractions I was having. We laid on the couch from about 11pm until 5am and watched Netflix while I worked through each contraction.
October 4

 

I spent a lot of time on my knees, bent over the ottoman while Henry ran back and forth between me and Geoff, worried about my groans and sways. I felt so powerful and womanly swaying and vocalizing through the contractions. Around 5am Geoff suggested a hot bath. I spent about an hour in the tub, trying to relax and welcome each contraction. At this point I was trying not to get my hopes up because my contractions were still very irregular ranging from 2 minutes to 10 minutes apart. At 7 am, as the sun was coming up, Geoff made some coffee and we decided to go for a walk. We slipped on our slippers and hoodies over our pajamas and walked around the neighborhood for half an hour. That walk was one of my favorite parts of the day, the neighborhood was very quiet, the sun was still low in the sky and the air was cool and we spent the time talking about our future son and labor and delivery. We discussed our hopes for our son, and about how we want him to grow up to be a sweet, loving, respectful man who is strong and hard working. I felt so close to my husband in those moments. I had a few contractions as we walked, and I stopped and held onto his neck and swayed through them. When we got home we rested some more and waited for my mom. My mom got here around 9:00am and suggested we call my midwife and see if we could go in and get checked. I was resistant because I didnt want to go in and be told I was at 1/2 cm and go home, it was a false start. Nevertheless, Geoff insisted so we called and made an appointment for 11am. We finished picking up a few things around the house and made sure the bag was packed just in case. We got the doctors office, and Terri Gross (one of the four midwives at the clinic) saw us. It took a while to get in so I spent 20 minutes on my knees, leaning over the back of a chair with contractions off and on. When we got back into the exam room, Terri checked me and excitedly announced I was at 6cm, 100% effaced, and +2. I was thrilled! We headed over the hospital! On the way, I called my dad and texted my siblings with the good news. Geoff called his parents and sister, who helped spread the word that we should have the baby that day!! Once we got checked in, I realized I forgot to bring a copy of my birth plan. I told my nurse that, and explained to her that I wanted a natural childbirth, I would prefer not to be asked what my pain level was or be offered pain meds. I also stated that if I got to the point where I was asking for pain meds, I was open to alternative means. This may have come back to bite me…Somewhere in there Geoff called Katie (our doula) and she arrived a few hours later. Once she got there we settled into a routine of me laboring while walking around the room, on my hands and knees leaning over the back of the bed and so on. My labor was all in my back and my contractions were getting quite strong. Katie had some great techniques to help me cope, including the use of a rebozo wrap, which went around my hips and allowed her to simultaneously help squeeze my hips, and put counter pressure on my intense back labor. I am not really sure how long we labored like that, because my sense of time disappeared.

At some point I decided to get in the tub and put on my swim suit. While I was in the tub, my brother and Geoff’s sister got to the hospital. They were able to come in a visit for while, since I was sort of dressed. Laura sat with me for a while and her and Katie kept my shoulders and hips warm with wet wash clothes while I lay on my side in the tub so they could help apply counter pressure. I dont know exactly how long I was in the tub because at this point my sense of time sort of disappeared. My midwife, Kelly Jean came in and checked me and said I was about 7cm and station +1. I was not progressing very fast at this point and becoming frustrated. We kept laboring, walking and doing counter pressure. My mom went out and got the family at some point to come in and say hi. Geoff’s dad, his dad’s girlfriend, his mom, stepdad and sisters where all there. I only saw them for a few minutes because my contractions were getting really strong at this point.

 

We continued laboring together, Katie providing constant counter pressure and Geoff and my mom offering moral and emotional support. I cant give a definitive time line at this point because, like I said, my sense of time disappeared. At some point Kelly Jean came back in and wanted to check me again and I declined, because I knew I hadn’t progressed. I was getting frustrated and exhausted at this point. I had been awake roughly since 2 am Saturday morning, and we were now at 6 pm Monday night. My contractions were getting increasingly intense, but not becoming more regular. I think around 8 or so Kelly Jean came back in and decided to check me again. I was at 8 cm at this point and starting to feel despair. She thought breaking my water might help labor pick up so I tried to get comfortable on my side in bed so she could. This is one part of my birth experience i am not sure I would repeat. By breaking my water, I doubt the baby had any chance to turn, but at the time we werent sure what his position was. Once she broke my water, she was able to tell he was occiput posterior.http://www.birthingnaturally.net/birth/challenges/posterior.html That basically means he was facing my stomach instead of my back, so the back of his head (the occiput) was against my back, so it makes entering the birth canal extremely difficult. If they hadn’t broken my water, maybe he could’ve turned…but maybe not. He had a long time with lots of contractions to turn and didnt so there’s no telling what would have happened if we hadnt ruptured my membranes. My contractions became MUCH stronger at this point, and I was becoming extremely discouraged because I wasnt progressing very quickly and my contractions were starting to become unbearable. Before this point I was able to groan, moan and make throaty, low noises to cope through them, but at this point I was screaming. I have never felt anything so intense in my life. I started begging for it to end and was screaming for some one to make it stop. I finally asked for pain medicine, much to my own chagrin. I felt my hopes for a natural  birth experience slowly draining away at this point, but I could no longer cope. The gave me a shot of something, and it helped for all of two contractions. I tried to keep laboring, but the pain in my back was becoming so intense I couldnt deal. My midwife suggested I get back in the bath tub to see if that provided any help, and I agreed. I dont know how long I was in there, but my mom sat with me for a while so Katie and Geoff could step out. I started becoming afraid of contractions at this point and remember being overwhelmed with the intensity of them. I got out of the bath tub and had a few contractions while sitting on the toilet. For some reason, my midwife wanted me to try laboring on the toilet but I HATED it. That was the worst position for me, I had to be either on my hands and knees or standing, I couldnt bear to sit through them. I remember holding onto the rail in the bathroom watching my legs shake. At this point, I was butt naked and remember registering some embarrassment that my doula and good friend was seeing me naked but mostly I didnt care. My legs felt like jelly and somehow I got back to bed and begged for the epidural. Kelly Jean suggested a sterile water block in my back at this point to help with the back labor, because it was supposed to act like counter pressure. My poor doula and hubby. Their wrists, hands and arms had to ache by now from the intense pressure they were applying. We tried the water block and it made it worse because they couldnt put pressure on my back anymore because it would undo the water block. I decided I had to have the epidural. I always thought once I asked for an epidural, it would be instant, but its not. It seems like it took at least an hour between finally convincing them to give it to me (remember I told them not to offer…yeah) and then I had to have at least half a bag of fluids in me and so on. Finally the anesthesiologist came in and I was sitting on the bed in a tank top and nothing else and I didnt care. He was really kind and helpful and got the epidural in place quickly and efficiently. He didnt do it too heavily, thankfully because once he left my midwife turned the lights off and told me to try and rest. I collapsed into bed, exhausted. Katie let me lay there for a few minutes or so and then told me I needed to get up on my hands and knees. I was able to do this even with the epidural, I still had control over my legs. She was hoping if I kept turning the baby would turn. At this point I became aware that his heart rate was dropping. My blood pressure was really low and I felt like I was going to black out. Katie helped me get on one side then the other so the epidural didnt pool on one side of my body. Kelly Jean came in and put two monitors on us. One under the scalp of the baby to better monitor his heart rate, and one next to his head to measure the strength of my contractions since I could no longer feel them. My contractions were getting less intense, which at this point told us that my labor was stalling.  I was really distraught and Kelly Jean and another nurse came in and were surprised to see me up on my hands and knees, but were concerned about the baby. My blood pressure was very, very low and the baby’s heart rate was no longer indicating he was responding positively to the contractions. In fact it was the opposite, as my contractions peaked, his heart rate dropped. I was scared for my baby. They put me on oxygen to help my heart rate and blood pressure, and some where in here Geoff stepped out.

 

 He came back and saw me oxygen and he became really upset and concerned about both me and the baby. My dad arrived at the hospital shortly after and I remember him coming back to see me, and holding my hand. All I could do at that point was lay there and hold my dad’s hand and try not to cry. I was so distraught at this point and discouraged that I had labored for so long for nothing. Kelly Jean came back because she was worried about the baby, she said we should monitor him for a few more minutes and see what happened and then decide whether to go forward with pitocin or a c-section. At the words “C-section” my heart went through my stomach. That was the last thing I wanted, but at the same time it meant my baby was so close to being in my arms and out of harms way. His heart rate continued to not respond the way we wanted and we made the decision. They told me two people could come back with me. I was torn. I knew Geoff would be there, but I didnt know if I wanted Katie or my mom to be the other one. I wanted my mom there because she’s my mom and I didnt want her to miss anything but Katie had been so supportive and she is an RN, so I felt safe having her there to lean on. We decided to have Katie and Geoff accompany me into surgery. The got me prep’d and wheeled me back. I dont remember the trip down there really, I just vaguely remember them transferring me onto the board and upping the epidural so I could go through surgery.

The curtain went up and Geoff sat by me and distracted me through the beginning of the surgery. Katie took some pictures for us and once our son was lifted out, Geoff went with him to see him be weighed, measured and cut the cord. Katie stayed with me as they sewed, stapled and otherwise put me back together. I could hear my baby crying and I started crying. I wasnt responding well to the anesthesia and started shaking violently and feeling very nauseous. The wonderful doctor who did my epidural and Katie worked together to get me stable and stop the shaking. Once I was ok, Geoff brought our son over for me to see. I remember crying my eyes out because he was incredibly beautiful. I wanted to kiss every inch of his tiny face.

They took him away again and Geoff went out into the recovery room to show him to our family. The wheeled me into recovery and I could see my whole family standing outside the window waiting for me. They had to put up the curtain at this point though because I started vomiting again. Once I was OK, they let everyone come back a few at a time to see me. My mom and Geoff and Katie were back there for a few minutes and I took the baby and held him to my breast and like magic, he latched right on! I could feel my heart swell at this little miracle in my arms. I had to have help holding him because of the epidural, but I felt my life change as I held my son for the first time. Eventually everyone came back for a few, and left, and they moved Geoff and I to our room. Katie accompanied us for a few to make sure we were OK and then she left. In hindsight, I am glad I tried everything I did before the epidural and c-section. I am sad that I failed in giving birth to my son naturally, but am thankful that we were in a safe place where we were able to use the miracles of modern science to deliver my son safely. It was worth it in the end and I am thankful everyday for this precious baby boy.

Clark’s Birth Story

No better way to kick off new birth stories than to share one from a mom who’s already shared a previous birth story! Heather is a dear friend and recently had her second baby last spring. You can read her first birth story of her daughter Julie HERE. This is an amazing display of natural, hospital birth where mom and dad maintain control, while also allowing their midwife and staff to care for them. Also, this is the definition of a precipitous birth! Heather, you nearly had a baby at home, my love! 😉

***

Clark’s Birth Story

I started losing my plug at 35 weeks and 2 days. That combined with the fact that my first baby arrived at 38 weeks and 2 days had me convinced this one would be early too. I was a little worried because my husband was best man at a wedding in Texas (we live in Colorado) that fell right on my 38 week mark. So, while I was very ready for the baby to come, I was hoping he/she hold out so that Dad could be there too. As it turned out, there was no need to worry.

Despite wind storms, snow storms, and lots of false starts, May 10 came and went. Although I knew it’s not physically possible to be pregnant forever, it was sure starting to feel like I would be! I made my appointments for non-stress tests and ultrasounds and my induction date was set for May 24. My husband and I agreed that we wanted to leave no stone unturned before then in terms of getting things moving without medication. We continued walking everyday, I ramped up squats and started drinking more raspberry leaf tea. I went to the chiropractor and she suggested acupuncture, which we ultimately decided was worth a try.

Monday, May 12, I went to work as usual. As I was expecting to be gone by this point, there wasn’t much for me to do. I tinkered around with some things and then left a little early and headed to the chiropractor for my acupuncture session. I left feeling no different and with a follow up appointment scheduled for the next day. About 4:30 or so on Tuesday morning, I woke up with a useful feeling contraction, but after so many false starts that petered out after an hour or so, I refused to get my hopes up. I went to the bathroom and lie back down knowing that my daughter would be up soon.

Contractions continued, strong enough that I had to concentrate on them, but still nothing I hadn’t felt before.  Like clockwork, my daughter got up at 5 and I went in to get her, thinking I’d let my husband sleep in a bit since I was already up. I had another contraction in the middle of our good morning conversation and I actually had to stop talking and brace myself. That’s when I knew the baby was coming for real. I went in to tell my husband that I was pretty sure it was the day, but I wanted to eat something and see how things played out before we alerted everyone (my in-laws were staying with us to watch our daughter while we were in the hospital). I texted our doula, around 5:30 or 5:45 just to let her know I’d had a few pretty serious contractions and that I was planning to eat breakfast and keep her posted.

My husband made my daughter breakfast and I started making some cream of wheat for myself, but the contractions were strong enough that I really wanted to be in a quiet area so I headed back upstairs. By the time my husband came up with my abandoned cream of wheat, I was starting to need help during my contractions. I had set up the heating pad on my back and was riding through contractions as best as I could on my hands and knees.  My husband called our doula and the midwife’s office a little after 6. The midwife on call asked if we’d like to meet her at the office for a check before going over to the hospital or if we’d like to stay home a bit longer. My husband told her we were going to stay home; I was convinced I wasn’t very far along.

My contractions were strong but coming at very irregular intervals. I’d have a long one and then right after it ended, I’d have a shorter but just as strong piggy back contraction and then get a break (my midwife later told me she believes that this is because the baby was too big for my uterus to tighten all the way around him in a single contraction). My husband suggested that I get into the shower because he needed to load the car and get things ready and he knew from my first labor that I should be able to labor in the shower alone. I turned the hot water all the way up on my back and leaned my head on the cool tile and braced myself on the shower door handle. I was still having strong but irregular contractions when my husband got back. I told him I needed our doula and I couldn’t do it alone anymore. She arrived around 7:20 and I was on my hands and knees laboring in the way that worked best with my first labor. My arms were so tired though, so my doula brought up the exercise ball for me to rest my upper body on. My husband was squeezing my hips during contractions and my doula was rubbing my back and hips and legs between. The between-contraction massaging was so nice, because it kept me in the moment and didn’t let me dwell on the upcoming contraction and get scared. I was still sure I wasn’t far along because of how irregular the contractions were and the fact I had not had any show.

By 8, I was ready to go to the hospital no matter how far along I was because I really wanted to sit in a Jacuzzi bath. My husband called the midwife’s office and told them we were on our way. Meanwhile, I was starting to feel pushy during my contractions and my doula was worried we might have waited too long to leave. I kept repeating that I hadn’t had any show and she said that doesn’t matter. As she and my husband were helping me into the car, she started coaching him on when to pull over if things kept progressing. I knelt in the front seat facing backwards. My husband had kindly put a Tupperware back there in case I got sick. My doula had put a portable heating pad on my back before we left the house. I was still feeling pushy with every contraction and my poor husband was trying to drive as quickly and safely as possible while coaching me to breathe through the contractions and not push.

We arrived at the hospital and my husband asked if I wanted to go through emergency or if I wanted to park and walk and I chose to walk. It felt so good to be outside and the cool morning air gave me a second wind. My doula and my husband walked on either side of me and we made it in without having to deal with any contractions. I wanted to walk up to the labor and delivery floor but my doula talked me into using a wheelchair. I didn’t want to sit, so she helped position me kneeling backwards with my head resting on my husband’s chest. We made it to the hospital room around 9 and they hooked me up to the fetal heart rate monitors while the midwife checked my progress. To my total shock (and relief!), I was already 10 cm dilated. The midwife gave me the ok to push if I wanted to.

I started out on all fours with the back of the bed raised, the same way I pushed with my first. The nurse wanted to give me a hep-lock (which is something we said we were fine with in the birth plan), but in the moment I really didn’t want to have to mess with that. Plus I was holding pillows during contractions and I was paranoid that I wouldn’t be able to do that with a needle (or whatever) in my arm. My husband had to refuse a couple of times because the nurse was harping on the fact that if I needed a blood transfusion, this refusal would cost us precious time. My husband confirmed that that was alright. Meanwhile, pushing was getting me nowhere and the midwife said if I couldn’t make some good progress moving you down with the next few contractions that she wanted to go ahead and break my water. The baby was still at a -1 station and she thought that breaking the water would help move things along. She also suggested waiting to push until the contraction built some momentum so that I’d have that to help me.

After a couple more useless-feeling contractions, Someone (I have no idea who…it might even have been me!) decided it might help to squat and they got me a squat bar and everyone helped me change positions. The midwife said this would be a good time to break my water and stepped away to get her tool—just in time because my water broke on its own just then and would have covered her if she was still in the splash zone! It was like a movie, spurting several feet across the room! The baby didn’t like the new squatting position and both of our oxygen levels were too low for comfort so I got an oxygen mask and LOTS of reminders to breathe deeply between contractions. The baby’s heart rate was still dropping too low during contractions so the birth team helped me to get onto my left side first (no change) and then my right, which the baby seemed to like, but I was convinced would be a terrible position to push in. My birth team helped me to kind of squat on my side though, which seemed to help.

With everyone coaching me, I started to push with everything I had during every contraction. I could finally start to feel the baby sloooowly moving down. For sure it was the hardest thing I’ve done, physically. The baby started crowning a little after 10am and my midwife told me he/she was very big and I’d need to keep pushing hard to get the shoulders and the rest of the body out.  A few more difficult contractions later, my son was born and my husband told me “It’s a boy!”. Everyone in the room marveled at his size as he was moved to my chest. He had some fuzzy hair and very large hands with long fingers and big feet—his footprints were bigger than the box on his chart! My midwife was also was shocked by the size of his placenta. I guess a big boy needs a big support system!

My midwife was concerned that I had a very bad tear, but the doctor that came in to consult deemed it only a 2nd degree, same as with my first despite 2 lbs difference in their sizes. While my midwife stitched me up, I held my son (he was completely uninterested in breastfeeding right away) and chatted with my husband and doula, and the nurses. My doula helped me order some food and brought some for my husband and then left to attend another birth and said she’d be back later to check on us. I got a shot of pitocin and cytotec to help shrink my uterus and curb the bleeding and had some blood drawn to determine my iron levels while my son was weighed and measured. He came in at 9 lbs, 7 oz, and 21.5”. I couldn’t believe it! All of the nurses we had that day kept commenting on it too. Around noon we finally moved to the maternity ward and enjoyed our first few quiet moments of the day.

Calling all BIRTH stories!!

It has been FOREVER since I posted a few birth stories and we need to change that. I will post ANY kind of birth story. Home, hospital, c-section, loss…every birth story matters. YOUR birth story matters, no matter what. Please consider sharing your story, with or without pictures. As long or as short as you want. Leave a comment here or send me an email. Thanks!!

midwife101blog@ gmail . com

In the mean time, check out my kids’ birth stories by following their links above. Enjoy!

Sarah