stressed out

I’m 8 weeks into my Mental Health class AND my 3rd semester as a nursing student and stress is really taking it’s toll. I thought I had a handle on it, but I’m going to real. Real honest. I’m on the struggle bus. My physical health has taken the brunt of the stress and so I am doing everything I can possibly think of to minimize the stress, cope, and get through this.

First of all, this is no surprise to me. I knew that nursing school would be stressful. Even more so with a hubby, kids and a job. But I can only juggle so much at once and a ball will drop eventually….Trust me, the irony is not lost on me that I am taking mental health and struggling with my own sanity! 😉

To cope, I have been seeing my therapist, practicing yoga, meditation, journaling (away from the internet), and taking time for myself. This is all very hard to implement into an already packed schedule, especially when I would rather sleep than do anything else. And sometimes, I do sleep. My body is saying I need it so I do it. The weather was so nice for the last couple weeks so being outside, even for a short amount of time, was nice. Now it’s back to cold and snow. 😉

This is the reality of nursing school. In no way am I complaining. I LOVE what I am doing and where I am going. There are some very exciting classes coming up (community health, Peds and OB (SQUEEEEEEEEE!!)). Mental health, in one way or another, affects each patient I will be caring for. If anything, some gentle encouragement that I am doing a good job, that I am going to make it work, that I am not going to fail and that I am going to be an amazing nurse are all nice things to hear. Also, prayers and just positive vibes.

I got this.

The stress, it will NOT have me. (work in progress…)

Some helpful resources:

a new year

Usually, I write an end of year post that summarizes my favorite posts and memories from the year. I am having a hard time doing that this year for a number of reasons but mostly because if I didn’t document it here, I have a hard time remembering what happened each month that was significant. Poor excuse, I know, but I will attempt to note some highlights from this past year and hopes for 2017.

A year ago today, I had already submitted every detailed document, letter, and transcript to the only nursing program in Colorado that would be good enough for me. I was anxiously waiting for the WORD that I had been accepted. There was little doubt that I wouldn’t get in, but I had to be realistic and not get my hopes up too high. It was 8 days later that I received the greatest news of 2016 that I had officially been accepted into the nursing program. SO EXCITED!

The first half of the year was spent preparing for school by doing the background check, drug test, and med calc practice exams. I purchased books, scrubs and waited for the day I would officially start nursing school. There was this surreal feeling that lingered in the air as each day passed. I worked, I played with my family, and I finished up a couple classes online. It was a surprisingly smooth transition from working full-time to being a student full-time.

Once school started, there were days where I felt 100% comfortable and as if this was exactly what I had been waiting for and there were days I dug my head into my hands, bawled like a baby and wished for just one extra point on an exam or comp to pass. It was the largest, most thrilling, life-changing roller coaster I had ever put myself on. And I’m still going.

Last week before Christmas, I finished my second semester of nursing school and could not be more proud of myself and the amazing students I get to go through this with. I have made some life-long friends. I want the professors to be forever-mentors. My heart is so full of love, gratitude, acceptance, and joy for the last year. Not one bit of it was easy and I know without a doubt that easy is boring. I like the challenge. I like the learning and more than anything, above all the content, people and time spent studying, I feel closer to God that I have in years. My Spiritual health (which EVERYONE HAS, with or without believe in God or a higher power) has grown beyond measure. I pray that this coming year is full of learning, joy, love, and grace in all aspects of my life. I pray for forgiveness and understanding when I’m not there for my friends or feel weak and too tired to be social.

You know I love you all for being here, loving and supporting me. I could not get through any of this without my amazing husband, children, family and friends. THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart. May 2017 bless you in amazing ways.

Love, Sarah

7 months

My last post is over 2 months old and I have been thinking about writing an update here for days. I did the math the other day and I have been in nursing school for 7 months. That’s pretty crazy! My concept of time is all over the place. Some days I don’t even know what the date is and before I know it, the month is over! The amount of material and the experiences I have had so far have been life-changing. There is not a single doubt in my mind that I am exactly where I belong. So let’s catch up…

The last post I talked about taking my Pharm comps. That Friday, we were leaving for California for a weekend family vacation to Disneyland and so I was focused on studying and packing. My comps were in the morning and I was ready but very nervous. I always get nervous before I have to perform (more on this later). My scenario was pretty straight forward and I passed! So we left the hospital and headed to the airport for a whirlwind vacation to California with my cousins and despite how quick it was, we enjoyed every second of it. It was also a great treat before starting my Med/Surg class.

Med/Surg was a class that I had been so looking forward to. It was as if I had been through these basic classes to get to the real deal when it comes to nursing medicine and practice. I love learning about diseases and why they happen and am rarely grossed out from things. Week 5 we had comps before we were to head into clinicals. The week of comps was a disaster for me. I had so much happening with work and class that I had no time to practice my skills (NG tube, trach care/cleaning, wound care). I had one day to get it right and I just prayed that I would do well.

I was in the first group of the morning to go. I was up early and ready to rock it. I knew my scenario and just didn’t know what skills or meds I would be giving. Long story short, I failed. I was absolutely devastated! I just had poor time management. I wasn’t organized and I let my anxiety get the best of me. Thankfully, my proctor was so sweet and reassuring that I would get it the next time. She had tons of great tips and I worked on those things and my skills all weekend. By Tuesday, I was ready to really rock my comps and I did. I was, however, terrified that I wouldn’t pass. Another fail and I’d be out. It’s that strict. I get it. Nursing has to be strict because we are dealing with the life of another human and our skills have to be perfect.

After week 5 comps, we started our clinicals in the hospital. I was SO excited to finally get my hands on real people with real issues to apply what I had learned so far. That is how I learn best. Our clinical instructor is wonderful. She told us right away that our time in clinicals was about learning and not about the care plan, though we still needed to do them, she wanted us to focus on the experience. So my first day of clinicals I went to the OR! I followed an awesome OR nurse who was willing and happy to teach. I got to learn more about sterile procedures. I did try to insert a folly cath and I missed but it was a good try! Last week I was able to see an EGD, colonoscopy and a heart cath with stents! I have had great patients with really complicated issues, all of which have really helped me through the critical thinking process. I also placed two IVs with success! Overall, great experience so far.

After fighting off every other germ this fall, my body finally succumbed to strep this weekend. I have been in bed for 2 days and I haven’t had strep since I was a kid! I cannot believe how miserable this is! The timing could not be worse! Next week we have two finals and finish our clinical rotation so send up prayers and good vibes that I can get through the next two weeks PASSING exams and clinicals so I can enjoy Christmas.

I’m hoping that it won’t be another two months before I write again, but that is just a testament to how busy nursing school keeps me. I am so proud of myself. I have never worked so hard in my life and I know that all the blood, sweat, tears and sacrifice is well worth the reward in the end.

The First 2 Weeks

Nursing school has officially started! I cannot believe it has already been two weeks. I have been wanting to write since the end of the first week and already realize that posting once a week may be more challenging than I had hoped.  In preparation for school starting, I was able to order my scrubs and books ahead of time. I was also able to access the online portion of the class a week before. Even that slight advantage has not given me a head start! You dive right into everything at 100mph and there is no stopping in sight!

The first week was great. My general excitement was at an all-time high. I was getting to now the other people in my class. Our first lab was on vital signs so I felt very confident in the first exam, which we had this past week. I got an A! This second week, however, has been a lot harder and more intense. There is so much to learn! We have been working on skin and neuro assessments. For me, these are not hard tasks. What is hard is memorizing the steps and the methods without forgetting anything. Today I really felt the pressure. I cried. It was a good cry. An overwhelming cry of realization that this is real and it’s going to be real hard. I’m ready, but damn this will be a crazy 24 months!

I am still working on my study methodes so that is part of some of the frustration I’ve had. I am hard on myself and I do overthink sometimes so my amazing tutor keeps bringing me back into the sandbox. 😉

Anyone else just starting nursing school? Please share your experience! I will do my best to keep this blog updated often. I’m taking Health Assessment and Transforming Care right now. This is one of the rare times I will be taking more than one class at a time. I’m already thankful there are only 3 weeks left in health assessment, not because I don’t like it (I LOVE IT!), but because balancing more than one class at a time is hard.

That’s all for now!